Had you asked me 2 years ago, I would have told you for sure that I was only going to have one child. In my twenties when I told my parents that I didn't plan on any, my mother said, "we'll see". After my son was born, when I was twenty five, I thought that one is good. Kids can be a lot of work, all worth it, but a lot of work. Leaving you exhausted at the end of the day, feeling like there is no room for you left in your day, spending all your time/money/energy on others, but I do it all for my family, happily.
It started last May, I began to feel depleted. Sick, and not wanting to get out of bed. I skipped a close friend's baby shower. I didn't feel like going to my beloved pottery class. Something was wrong.
Then, like a light bulb above my head in a cartoon- I was pregnant. I knew it before the two lines appeared on my home pregnancy test. Change was a coming. Unlike the first time I found myself unexpectedly pregnant, I felt slightly more prepared. Slightly. I always marveled at pregnant ladies who choose to be pregnant, nay planned to be pregnant and always appear so confident and sure about the whole experience. They had chosen this path and everything would work out just fine.
Once you reach the "advanced" maternal age of 35, you have to go to many more doctor's appointments, and tests. It can make a person feel that possibly this was a bad idea, maybe it won't work out alright. Toward the end of the pregnancy I was seeing my doctor once a week, and the perinatologist once a week, and still working , because I'm a knucklehead like that. At the perinatologist one week they had said that there was a slightly elevated level of fluid in one of the vents (in the brain). I was worried sick. On the next visit they said it was fine.
I got two really bad kidney infections that landing me in the hospital- twice. I had never had to stay at the hospital before. They would pump me full of IV fluids and antibiotics, and pain pills (which I was really uncertain about). But as anyone who has had kidney pain will tell you, it's not a joke, and you need help dealing with that kind of pain. I will say this about staying at the hospital, the food was really kind of good. Is that weird?
In the end I had an emergency C-section, due to detaching placenta. Although I was scared out of my mind, my awesome doctor made me feel secure that everything would work out. And when it did, no one was more surprised or delighted than me.
